Sup
I'm the one who wanted to start blogging. I am Erica, and I'll probably be doing most of the posting. Whee.
I'm very new to this. Well, I had a blog over at xyzwhateverimanasshole whatever that sites name is.
Anyway
I've been reading some stuff on blogs lately, and so I decided that it was time for me to actually put down some of my crazy adventures in mediocrityland.
A little tiny bitty bit of background information on my situation here:
- I'm a woman (obv)
- I'm 21 and living with my parents again. Again meaning after I ditched home to run off to ex boyfriend (story for another day)
- I'm mediocre at just about everything.
Anyway
To the main point...
EVERY YEAR my parents have to plant a garden. Which isn't that bad. It's nice, in theory. In theory it's the most wonderful thing on the planet. "We have no vegetables? WELL! THAT'S OKAY!!!! GO OUTSIDE AND PICK SOME!!!~~~~"
EVERY YEAR it ends up being hell. When I was little, I didn't have to worry about it because I could frolic and stuff and I liked to eat peas and carrots and stuff because vegetables were fun and the garden was nice and organized because the garden faeries would come and keep it that way (yeah I don't have a clue either) and everything was happy. Maybe I just ignored it all and hummed and skipped and pretended my way through the yard. Rambling is fun.
EVERY YEAR since I was about seven or eight or nine or whenever we moved to this house, it has been a hair pulling near fist-fighting hassle of epically epic proportions. The first year we had the garden we had to prepare it, shield it from deer and bunnies and whatever small furry creature would eat the veggies and fruit, break the ground, get better soil, blah blah blah blah kjdfkjd;fkgh;lkfhglk whatever.
EVERY YEAR after that it has been an argument over what goes where. It eventually became my mom's job to plan it. That's all well and good because she can plan things really well. She used to plan houses for fun in her spare time. I have no idea why she didn't get some sort of architecture or design degree in college.
THIS YEAR it's apparently my job to try and plan this garden.
See where it says corn and melons?
I had to plan that.
Planning gardens is okay I suppose when you've had a rundown on what you need to have and how it needs to be planted in order to survive.
Here's what I had to use: the information on the seed packets, a very general set of guidelines, and a looming sense of "IF YOU DO NOT DO THIS THE PROPER WAY YOU WILL HAVE YOUR INTERNET TAKEN AWAY AND ALL THAT IS DEAR TO YOU WILL PERISH!"
gulp
So for the last three days, I have been trying to get this done, and when I ask questions, in response I would get CONFUSING guidelines, which is far worse than vague guidelines, because vagueness is mostly inoffensive whereas confusing is offensive and makes me want to do things like go inside the house and curl up on my bed and never go outside again because any way I do it it's going to be WRONG WRONG WRONG.
Somehow I muddled through and got stuff planted.
BUT!
One of the rows of corn is half missing because I ran out, we still haven't gotten tomatoes to plant, which is going to be another fun thing, seeing as I'm allergic to the plant itself. There are also a lot of things missing from the list of usual vegetables, like peas.
Also dad f***ed up the asparagus, so I don't know how much time we have to let it grow back.
My finger is cramping for unknown reasons so maybe I should stop. Woooooooo blogging.
-Erica
